This is by far the hardest post and news I have shared, and am going to try and keep this as brief as possible before I cry again.
I’m deeply heartbroken, devastated and so disappointed to share that almost two months ago my husband walked out on me. He told me he had been with someone else. I had no idea. And in an instant my whole world fell apart and I’d never felt so betrayed or unloved in all my life. I desperately tried to save our marriage, but in his mind it had been over for a very long time. Our home was then quickly put on the market and it sold just before I flew out to Rarotonga. In a matter of months, I have lost my husband and the man I have loved and shared my life with for 11 years, our home and have had to completely start again. It’s like unknitting a jumper and trying to turn it into a scarf without a pattern - there is no handbook and no guidelines on how to survive this. It’s just hard, every day is hard.
The pain of watching the person you love the most hurt you so much is huge and truly horrific. I am by no means going to say that our marriage was without it’s own troubles or heartache, we sadly went through three failed rounds of IVF in 2013 and after that I would miscarry often. It was hard, very hard, but we were also excited about what that life could hold for us. What we had was special, ours and I’m still in shock that it’s over and that Ben is no longer in my life…
...I must say the deepest thank you to everyone for all of your kind comments, support and well wishes over the past few weeks. Every message has been read and they all mean the world to me, thank you so much.
My heart is still hurting, my body is still recovering from sleep deprivation and dramatic weight loss. But it’s ok. I know that one day I will be ok and that things will get easier. I certainly have good and still, very bad days, but they are getting less and less. I know for absolute certain that I would never have been able to get through any of this without the unwavering support of my closest friends and family. They have been my guardian angles, personal armoured guards and shoulders to cry on when it’s all just too much. You know who you are and there are no words to ever thank you for what you have done, all I can say is thank you. Thank you so very much for everything and and I am beyond lucky and so grateful to have you in my life.
To everyone who has followed Made From Scratch over the years, thank you, thank you so much for being apart of my journey so far. I’m so sad that this chapter has been added to it, but I am really looking forward to seeing what the future will hold and am very excited to share it with you all. Thank you so much for all of your support, it has not gone unnoticed. I hope you have a lovely weekend and I will see you on Monday. xo