Yesterday was a very hard day. Instead of celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary, I was trying to survive the emotional rollercoaster of our wedding anniversary, but when you’re no longer married. I really tried to prepare myself as much as possible for my first first, but the emotions were huge, confusing, raw and really hard to come to grips with. On a day that was always filled with so much love, tradition and kindness, has now turned into a day that is terribly hard to remember the good in.
One of the hard parts about dealing with a divorce and coming to terms with a new life alone. Is that there isn’t a guide book. There is nothing out there to help ease the pain or tell you what your next move should be. It’s something you need to work out on your own and it’s equally exciting and hard. Every day is a completely new day, some are good, some are incredible, some are ok and some are just awful. Since sharing what has happened this year, I have been completely overwhelmed and just floored by the amount of kindness, support and love so generously offered by you all. I asked you yesterday on Instagram and Facebook how to survive an anniversary when you’re no longer married and each of your messages brought so many tears to my eyes. Truly thank you all so very much. What breaks my heat the most is knowing that others have known this pain, it’s just so unfair and something I so wish no-one ever had to endure. But as so many of you have so kindly encouraged, it does get easier, you do get stronger and one day (it’s slowly coming for me) you can look back and say it was in a way a ‘good’ thing that it happened. This sadly is the first of many ‘firsts’, there is still Christmas, birthday’s, etc, and I really hope they get easier to handle.
The only piece of advice I feel capable of giving to anyone going through anything painful, is to surround yourself with your closest friends and family. I wouldn’t be able to function without mine and I owe them everything. So yesterday I took your advice. I took a little time out just for me, talked to close friends, drank gin and tonics with my Mum, ate ice cream with my Dad and we youtube’d comedy shows and our favourite songs all night until we were laughing so hard that we forgot the pain and created a new memory. x
...on a lighter note, I’m just obsessed with all of the beautiful spring flowers out at the moment. If you get the chance, grab a coffee and wander through the Auckland Botanic Gardens. They’re just so beautiful at the moment with the cherry blossoms and spring flowers in bloom. x